My slumber was disrupted at 2 am. I was clammy and realised that my trusty bladder wanted emptying. I am grateful that my bladder to brain communication works so well in these circumstances but don’t relish being woken at such times.
For once pain had not bothered me and I had the chance of stealing some extra snooze time, heck, maybe I was heading into the realms of REM. Not the band, as I don’t want music when attempting to stay unconscious to the world, but rapid eye movement would be good. I am never aware of my eyes moving but am told that it is the time when the body totally relaxes and healing can take place. Thanks for that then, no healing for me.
I navigated the bedroom obstacles – namely husbands slippers – and arrived in time at the bathroom. Now, for the squeamish the tale need fast forward but if you are not eating and feel fine to carry on then on we do go.
The greatest gust of diarrhoea errupted. I kid you not! It was on volcanic scale, well I am using some artistic license to dramatize and evoke the scene as it was. Fortunately it was not messy. That was a blessing. It smelled like roses too – honestly. Really, I am probably the only person (besides the Queen) who has petal perfumed bowel movements. A blessing. I wish! It was sheer luck that I managed to hold my breath for the duration and escape before breathing in.
Back in bed. Husband sleeping soundly. Then the urge returns and the whole escapade begins again! Really, you are having a laugh. Thankfully, that was the last bathroom call and I was able to tentatively have some form of shut eye – whilst remaining slightly aware of my jittery tummy.
I woke this morning with relief that all was well in the land of jippy tummy – that was until my first visit to the bathroom when it was time for a replay of volcanic eruptions. Nice. Yes.
Anyhow. I have a solution, a battle plan. Plenty of fluids and some ginger. Ginger is great for settling digestion and if that doesn’t work I’ll enlist the help of the big guys and out will come the immodium. Ha!
When was the last time you had a rude awakening?